It is not exciting football. It is mechanical, soul-crushing, perfect football. It is the Retro Bowl equivalent of a boa constrictor.
: His star wide receiver, a 5-star veteran with morale as high as the sky, was streaking down the sideline. Vaz ignored the safe check-down pass. He was going for the "Hail Mary." The Launch Top Vaz Retro Bowl
The Lincoln Lions, clad in their classic red and gold, were not to be underestimated, however. They boasted a talented roster of their own, including the crafty quarterback, Alex "The Snake" Sanchez, and their bruising linebacker, Mark "The Hammer" Hernandez. It is not exciting football