If you are reading this because you just typed that exact phrase into Google, panicking, take a deep breath. You are not alone. Welcome to the most specific, terrifying, and strangely hilarious club on the internet. Here is everything you need to know about how this happens, how to survive the extraction, and how to reclaim your dignity.
The local water park had just opened "The Abyss," a near-vertical slide that promised a "life-changing" drop. As it turns out, the only thing it changed was my wardrobe status. I remember the floor dropping out, the momentary weightlessness, and then a sudden, violent surge of water pressure that felt like a industrial-strength vacuum cleaner. My Swimming Trunks Have Been Sucked Off
They handed them to me on a mop handle. I have never pulled on a pair of shorts faster in my life. If you are reading this because you just
So, you’ve uttered the terrible words: My swimming trunks have been sucked off. You are now treading water in a public pool, feeling a draft where no draft should be. Here is everything you need to know about
Identify the shortest path to your towel or the locker room. Do not look at anyone. If you don't make eye contact, it didn't happen. How to Prevent the "Sequel"